Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Monday, May 30, 2005
"School was a very cruel environment and I was a loner. But I learnt to get hurt and I learnt to cope with it."
Ahhhhhh...the things you can learn in school.
It isn't always about the books...
Reflect on what you've learnt, and boy, you'll discover yourself.
I've not felt as bored as I was during lecture earlier today. I left the class for a moment, went downstairs to the canteen to talk to whomever I could find, then went back up, stood at the corridor, squatted against the cabinet and I still felt bored.
Maybe it's boring because I have only three modules and I keep seeing the same lecturer almost everyday? Or perhaps the fear of having to weather 3 straight days of field practicum at the childcare centre for 7 weeks?
It seems the only reason I attend classes is simply because I have to.
At this stage, I don't feel for what I'm studying. And that's sad. Gees.
But, I go to school because of my friends, because of drama and because, my life has to revolve around it. And, I'm certain I'll get back on track soon enough...
Time always runs ahead of us all and now, I'm a third-year student.
In a year's time, NS will come a calling and in two years, I'll turn twenty-one. Golly gee.
Something good (I think) came out of my boredom though.
A certain feeling stirred inside my heart.
The feeling inside me right now is similar to what I felt back in 2002.
That was when I was in secondary four and I left my alma mater with a heavy heart.
Darn, it's nostalgia.
Here's the picture of my beloved alma mater, Junyuan Secondary School.
It's funny how at one time we all lament and say things like "I hate school" and "school sux". Yet, for the majority, when the time comes for one to leave, one cannot bear to do it.
It was hard for me.
The school had been the catalyst of my becoming and the grounds on which I discovered myself. Many years on, I shudder at the thought of what would have happened had I entered another school.
Would I have been given the same opportunities?
Would I get a similar set of great teachers?
Would I still be like who I am today?
I miss Junyuan.
I miss my teachers.
I miss my friends.
And I know I'll miss Ngee Ann Polytechnic and the people who shaped my life during my time there too. But, that's another story for another day.
We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future.
(George Bernard Shaw)
And thus, the future awaits...
Sunday, May 29, 2005
Movie Previews: Mr. and Mrs. Smith
Apart from 2 Japanese horror films which are due to be released on June 9th, the main dish to be released on that date will be the action packed Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
I guess that's the only watchable film of the week although I'm expecting a very cliched offering.
Nonetheless, Angelina Jolie + Brad Pitt is a powerful equation by itself.
Director Doug Liman will have his fare share of fans from his Swingers days and most recently that of Jason Bourne's adventures.
And, Adrien Brody would be the pulling factor for the O.C. driven generation...right Nadiah?
Wait till what I have in store next week.
A sexy spy thrill ride. John and Jane Smith are ordinary suburban couple with an ordinary, lifeless suburban marriage. But each of them has a secret – they are actually both legendary assassins working for competing organizations. When the truth comes out, John and Jane end up in each other’s cross hairs.
(Synopsis courtesy of moviexclusive.com)
I may or may not like this.
Can I just have Agent Smith instead?
Saturday, May 28, 2005
By God, We All Learn...
"Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn; my God, do you learn!"
(Clive Staples Lewis)
Indeed, we learn from our experiences. No matter how tough, no matter how brutal.For if we brood over spilled milk for too long, we'll never pick ourselves up again.
It was a nerve-wracking experience hosting Piala Khatulistiwa, the dikir barat competition organised by the Ngee Ann Polytechnic Malay Cultural Club.
Despite this being my 3rd hosting stint with Hazzie, it was the first time we were doing it in Malay. (Well, she has her Ria 89.7 and TGIF experience to help her)
It was my first time hosting a real event in Malay.
It was my first time hosting a competition.
It was a full-house attendance, surpassing everyone's expectations.
Thankfully, Amin was a great help, telling us what kind of crowds dikir barat competition usually attract. I've only hosted events which have been very formal and again, they've all been in English, so, my spontaneity in Malay was and still is a serious lack thereof.
And it certainly did not help that I was feeling stressed for most parts of the first half of the event.
Hosting the event has made it very clear to me that I should really stick to hosting in particularly, English.
Oh, somehow, I'm not surprised if my performance, were to draw flak and criticism.
Hosts are like sacrificial lambs, in a way, always the first ones to draw crossfire.
And it's different being on stage and being in the audience. What goes around comes around huh?
Nonetheless, I thank the Malay Cultural Club for the opportunity for every endeavour we embark upon is truly a learning experience.
Save for minor faults, the event was smooth running and the response at the end, I believe, was unanimous. A success.
So, syabas I say to the organising committee and everyone who helped out with the event.
And as for me, I'll try to redeem myself with my next hosting stint in two weeks time.
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Blogging in the school library
I'm doing a first today. I'm blogging in the school library.
Yes, I've ended classes and I'm having a minor headache actually, and rehearsals are about an hour away.
I suddenly feel like I'm sort on a pseudo mission to search for The Calm One (http://lifeatngeeann.blogspot.com) [I'm kidding lah. The Calm One will always remain a mystery).
And no, I don't see anyone holding a copy of My New Scientist.
Come to think of it, I've never seen anyone holding a copy of My New Scientist. Hmm...
Oh yah, that reminds me, I guess the guys in Singapore have only started to know about Fiona Xie and her standing in the FHM Top 100 list.
Enjoying the picture on my blog guys?
(A search on Yahoo for Fiona Xie and my blog address appears now. Haha...)
Oh yah, just had to say this...(coz she's 2 seats away from me)
Dayana, who has just returned from KL, is starting to speak a lot of Malay, not that it's a bad thing, but it's just not her. And, urm, she's started to go jiwang (Malay Emo).
Must be the Malaysian guy she met there, who held the door for her and all.
The feminist getting slammed in the face by love?
Monday, May 23, 2005
Quiet Sunday Morning revisited
"Death, you came without prior warning on that quiet Sunday morning"
Ahh yes, exactly a year ago you cruelly took him away from me, from us.
Where Do We Go From Here?
Exactly a year ago, on a quiet Sunday morning, death crept up on my family and took my grandfather away from us.
Yes, I miss him.
And, I wept, all alone at home.
Damn it, I felt like I was walking through a tunnel all by myself, nothing behind me and nothing to look forward to ahead of me.
And the irony of it, death seemed to play with us again.
Exactly at the call of prayer for maghrib (dusk), the hospital called to say that my maternal grandfather had been warded and is quite ill.
O Death, teasing us yet again.
If you wish to know more about this grandfather of mine who passed on last year, you're welcome to read http://massb.easyjournal.com
I shan't elaborate further here.
And it was exactly a year ago that I moved on from easyjournal.
And this is what I wrote then.
Quiet Sunday Morning
Sometimes, I feel his spirit lingering
in that almost empty room of memories.
The blue and white cap he wore each day,
The walker he used to find his way.
The mattress used as his makeshift bed,
His companion, the bicycle, his trusty aide.
Death, you came without prior warning
on that quiet Sunday morning.
How cruel, how vile,
To take his life away from mine.
How cruel, how vile,
We’ve reached the end of a fine, thin line.
Death, you came without prior warning
on that quiet Sunday morning.
Death, you left me alone, staring,
seeking comfort from a certain little thing,
that goes by the name of love.
My heart had never felt so numb
towards you, there was so much anger,
it was mixed with a dash of thunder.
Death, you came without prior warning
on that quiet Sunday morning.
From the day that I was born
till the day that he passed on,
Memories of yesteryear are all I have
to suffice the rest of my adult life.
I recall the times he cradled me in his arms
to the day I kissed him goodbye thrice.
There is so much guilt in me, God knows why.
Had I been given the chance, I’d tell him this,
A sorry for my sins and a proper goodbye,
A thank you for making life the way it is.
Death, you came without prior warning
on that quiet Sunday morning.
© Mohamad Shaifulbahri
And a year on, I still write such with a heavy heart.
P.S. School, back to you huh?
Saturday, May 21, 2005
Movie Previews: Der Untergang
Despite three other releases on 2nd June, which includes The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and Unleashed starring Jet Li, I'm sooooooo gonna catch Der Untergang (Downfall) instead.
Germany's submission for the last Oscar's, it lost out to The Sea Inside.
Nonetheless, Der Untergang has gained critical acclaim for the brilliant depiction of Hitler and World War II.
An NC-16 rating and will only be shown at Cathay Orchard.
Berlin, April 1945. A nation awaits its downfall. House-to-house fighting rages in the streets of the capital. Hitler, along with several of his generals and closest confidants, has barricaded himself in the Fuehrer’s Bunker under the Reichskanzlei. Among them is Traudl Junge, Hitler’s private secretary, who doesn’t want to abandon him. While the situation outside escalates – the Red Army is advancing, and in the city’s bomb-scarred districts desperate scenes are unfolding – Hitler experiences the downfall of the Third Reich behind thick bunker walls. Although Berlin can no longer be held, the Fuehrer refuses to leave the city. He wants, as the architect Speer puts it, "to be on stage when the last curtain falls." But Hitler is not on stage. While the full force of the hopelessly lost war crashes down over his people, the Fuehrer stages his final departure. Only hours before their joint suicide, he marries Eva Braun. Instead of the final victory comes the final defeat, but that has also been planned down to the last detail. After Hitler and Eva Braun have taken their lives, their corpses are burned so that they do not fall into the hands of the enemy. Many of his faithful also choose suicide. Goebbels and the remaining generals refuse to comply with the Russians' demand for unconditional surrender. As the situation becomes ever more hopeless, Magda Goebbels poisons her six children before she and her husband take their own lives. Shortly thereafter Traudl Junge and several others manage to escape at the last minute...
(Synopsis courtesy of moviexclusive.com)
So I'm a bit of a history buff. My favourite chapter back in secondary school was on World War II. Hehehe...
I believe I'm gonna enjoy this.
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
All For Fiona...
"For most of history, Anonymous was a woman."
Not anymore I say...
Warning: Male Hormones at work. If you are sensitive towards or disgusted by bikini-clad babes, do NOT scroll down. Don't say I didn't tell okay?
I bought the latest edition of FHM today. The last time I bought a copy was when I was melting when I saw Felicia Chin gracing the cover.
This time round, it had to do with a certain Ms. Fiona Xie being voted as Sexiest Woman in the World by Singapore readers. Numero Uno baby!
(My Felicia Chin falls short at 42 but that's alright)
A brother also once said that I should've placed Fiona Xie as the template of my previous blog (massb.tk) instead of Felicia Chin for two simple reasons, and he showed me a picture of her. That picture is at the end of this entry which we will of course get to in a short while.
As much as the girls are starting to hate her, the guys just can't seem to stop talking about her. At a media research survey that I participated in recently, when asked about Fiona Xie, the group unanimously agreed that she gets a 5/5 and that qualifies as a Red Hot in the survey. Top 3 TV Personalities? Fiona Xie. Favourite Ad from the last year? Citigems with Fiona Xie. You get the drift.
Tomorrow.sg highlighted a local band called EIC having composed a song called "Fiona" and it goes something like this...
"Fiona, running down the streets in her swimsuit
You can be my little genie
Fiona, Fiona, Fiona
Why you running in your blue bra"
which of course was inspired by the picture below.
Running down Orchard Road
An award for Kodak Moment of 2004 too perhaps?
And we still can't get enough of her. Hur Hur.
Now, what irked me when I flipped through the pages was that her picture was not particularly flattering! (Hello! Voted Number 1 okay?!)
Recycled photo maybe? I think I've seen that picture in a copy of 8 days before!
And I know Angelina Jolie won hands down globally, but she was still a spot behind Fiona. And they just had to put an extremely hot picture of her.
(Then again, most of her pictures are hot anyways)
How long ago did the Singapore readers vote for a local girl to be their sexiest woman in the world?
Come on FHM.
Do the right thing. Get her down to your office!
Put her on the cover and as a feature!
If voting her as Number ONE is not a good enough reason, then I've got two more reasons for y'all...
take a look...
Need I Say More?
Something like this picture might have justified her position in the standings aye?
Monday, May 16, 2005
"Those who want to take pictures can come up to the day-ez"
The host of the dinner who cracked me up by saying dais as day-ez
I absolutely adore it when there are weddings in the family.
It's the one time when you get your aunts, uncles, cousins working together, hand-in-hand, cooking, preparing and all.
We call it "gotong-royong".
And then there's the whole me being an MP as my cousin said.
I also enjoy meeting my relatives (ie: my dad's cousins) and thus my 2nd cousins. I'll usually be the one tugging at my Grandma's blouse and going, "Grandma, who's that?" and she'll probably respond with a "Oh, that's my cousin's daughter or that's my cousin's cousin".
My Grandma, at her age, has an impeccable memory. She enjoys the fact that I like to know the extended family, something my Dad is not that well known for. Hahaha. My Grandma would roll her eyes at things like my Dad forgetting who used to live in the same kampong as them.
Then, there's the whole traditional factor that I look out for especially when I'm on the bride's side. (I've got more girl cousins...Hmm...)
When the groom arrives, he has to take quite a walk with his entourage before he can proceed to sit at the dais with his bride, who by the way should already be seated. Now, along the way, the groom would have to cross certain "obstacles or barriers" usually put up by the bride's side of the family. Usually, my uncle and I would whip out the extra large ladels used for stirring big pots of rice and gravy and place it at the entrance. Oh, we would always have a hoot when it came to this.
Most of that happened during the weddings that have been held previously except for the one we had yesterday.
The gotong-royong part was there but it eventually declined when people started getting with each other. Okay, maybe the majority was angry with ONE person.
And, it did not help that my dad's cousin passed away the morning of the wedding. So, that side of the family couldn't attend. And want to know what sucked? I had just met him the night before during the dinner and had shaken his hand.
And then there was a lack of help. Cousins standing around saying that they've never seen me with a sour face could seriously have changed that had they helped lift a finger. And mind you, they're older than I am!
As expected, the crowd during peak hour was extremely crazy. No walking or sitting space at all. And the shortage of hands meant that some people had to do triple of their required work.
And my Grandma wasn't in the best of moods due to the death and she was busy herself. So, I had to MP and PR by myself while juggling plates.
Did the whole barrier thingy but that wasn't as fun coz the usual suspects didn't really felt keen on joining in.
To sum it up,
one of us was drenched in rose syrup and fruit punch,
the other, a splitting headache
and the other one, wet all over.
I love family weddings.
I hate it when the fun is spoilt!
Sunday, May 15, 2005
Movie Previews: Madagascar
It was either this or Monster-in-Law and I thought some animal fun over J-Lo should win over the audiences.
So, on May 26th, catch Madagascar!
Starring the voices of Ben Stiller (“Meet the Parents”), Chris Rock (“Head of State”), David Schwimmer (“Friends”) and Jada Pinkett Smith (“Collateral”).
Alex the Lion (Ben Stiller) is the king of the urban jungle, the main attraction of New York’s Central Park Zoo. He and his best friends Marty the Zebra (Chris Rock), Melman the Giraffe (David Schwimmer) and Gloria the Hippo (Jada Pinkett Smith) have lived their entire lives in blissful captivity, with regular meals provided and an admiring public to adore them.
Not content to leave well enough alone, Marty allows his curiosity to get the better of him and, with the help of some prodigious penguins, makes his escape to explore the world he has been missing. Alex, Melman and Gloria go after him, but before they can go wild in the streets, they are captured, crated and put on a ship to Africa… to be ultimately set free.
When those plotting penguins sabotage the ship, Alex, Marty, Melman and Gloria find themselves washed ashore on the exotic island of Madagascar. Now, these native New Yorkers have to figure out how to survive in the wild and discover the true meaning of the phrase “It’s a jungle out there.”
(Synopsis courtesy of moviexclusive.com)
The killer penguins are a hoot!
Monday, May 09, 2005
"It is better to have the energy to chase your dreams throughout your lifetime then to chase all of it now and have no energy left to last you a lifetime."
My friend IR, made me slip into deep though today after what he said.
Whenever there's talk of dreams, I will always remember what happened in 2001; the year my secondary school had its Official Opening Ceremony.
The "theme" of the event was if I'm not mistaken, "Where We Build Our Dreams". Everyone liked it except for one outspoken teacher of mine. An English and Literature teacher at that.
She said that dreams as a theme was not that good a choice.
"What good is there in teaching our students to dream?"
She probably might have been thinking of a daydream. Shocking that an English and Literature teacher could have interpreted that literally.
What occurred to me though was that, why did she not think of dreams as a form of deep aspiration?
Nevertheless, the school stuck to the theme and I dare say, it was a success.
Thus, this leads me to what IR has said to me.
Dear friend, I really really appreciate everything. I understand that you care and that you're worried that I'll crash and burn or give up. And, I thank you for that.
IR is afraid that I'll neglect certain responsiblities I've chosen to take. Subsequently, he believes that I'm really doing too much that it left me exhausted for two straight days.
I chose to take those responsibilities and opportunities because I believe in myself. Yes, there are smaller ones which I could have chosen not to take but I've given my word. Perhaps, I should reconsider such things down the road.
But, I believe that I'd rather go through life knowing that I had done something when opportunity beckoned then to wallow myself in regret at not having done something when the opportunity came a knocking.
I have dreams. Some of which have been deemed as ambitious. Some have said they're unrealistic. Yet, there are those who've stood by me.
Support or the lack of it, I'll continue to persevere. I'll take the necessary steps that would take me to the pinnacle.
Right now, I have enough fuel to last me on this leg of the journey.
What I need to find inside me is the patience that will tide me on the waves.
"So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable."
The late Superman couldn't have said it any better.
This is my promise my friend. Let's do this together. All of us.
Believe in me as I believe in you. And as we believe in this labour of love we've embarked upon.
If I had to choose between Love and Dreams, I would teach my children to believe in their dreams. For Love lives on in the heart and needs coaxing while Dreams live on in the mind and needs proper scaffolding.
For when one ignores one's dream, it will ferment into a manifestation.
And as it dies down, it will remain idle in the depths of darkness.
"When once you have tasted flight you will always walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward: for there you have been and there you will always be."
(Henry Van Dyke)
Achieving a dream is like having a taste of heaven. You'll always want to fly.
Sunday, May 08, 2005
"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up."
We haven't given up. Not at all. We've only just begun and we'll all weather it together.
And, because of that we are proud to present...
Yellow Chair Productions
Do mind the typo error in the picture.
If you live in the Tampines vicinity and are keen in drama, do check us out!
We've formally been accepted by the CC but we're only starting full force in June 2005. So, keep a lookout for more details about our recruitment drive!
Saturday, May 07, 2005
Movie Previews: Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
In 1977, George Lucas introduced his take on an intergalactic tale to the world.
28 years later, come 19th May, the saga will have come full circle and will be complete, finally.
Without a doubt, fans will be invading the theatres worldwide when the movie is finally released. As for non-fans, take the opportunity or risk if you might want to call it, and watch the movie.
This will be Lucas' darkest of the six movies and he should end it off with a big bang.
Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
In the final installment of the Star Wars saga, the Clone Wars rage, widening the rift between Chancellor Palpatine and the Jedi Council. Young Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker is caught in the middle, his allegiances torn. Seduced by promises of power and temptations of the Dark Side, he pledges himself to evil Darth Sidious and becomes Darth Vader. Together, the Sith Lords set in motion a plot of revenge that begins with the extermination of the Jedi. Only Yoda and Obi-Wan survive, and are left to hunt down the Sith, leading to a climactic lightsaber battle that pits Anakin against Obi-Wan and will decide the fate of the galaxy.
(Synopsis courtesy of Moviexclusive.com)
And yes, daface, I know you've bought a ticket for this one already...Hehehe...
Friday, May 06, 2005
A coupla' DVD reviews...
Thursday, May 05, 2005
"Mardi Gras is a Malay festival?"
Thank you Edwin for making it the highlight of my day.
And this transpired when Rashad was asking Edwin what kind of festivals are celebrated in Nepal.
The initial stages were indeed pretty tough. Pitching the idea, defying calls of "ambition", convincing scepticism and then the writing of the script. And now, when rehearsals have started proper, I must admit that I never thought it would be this tough just 2 days in. In this short span, I've displayed a smorgasbord of emotions. An actor should have the ability to ease into such emotions effortlessly right? Think again.
But all is not lost. This will be a peer learning experience. And learn we will.
I envision the whole team together, hand-in-hand, being applauded for our efforts, for our performance and for our spirit come August.
We may step on each other's toes, we may not be on the same page.
We may not see eye to eye, we may ruffle each other's feathers.
But, we will always share ONE cause and that is the success of this production.
"For each other, we promise to be there.
You, Me, Him, Her.
And though times may be hard, rocky be the roads,
all we have will be each other; one way or another."
So, smile my friends. Let's do this together!
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
"Where is the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing? They have passed like rain on the mountain, like wind in the meadow. The days have gone down in the West behind the hills into shadow."
King Theoden, from The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
Indeed, we should all stick together as an army.
And, we should all realise and recognise our respective responsibilities.
For if the horn blower does not blow the horn, the army will not respond.
If a soldier were to command the army instead of a general, the army will fall.
And if a soldier does not fight for the army, the war is lost.
If there be a failure to form camaraderie, the darkest of days await us.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
No Pun Intended.
Peiyu, Mei, if you both are reading this, I, too, had to blog this...
"Thick-skinned, thick-headed, f**king walking oxy-MORON!!!"
and there's NO PUN INTENDED.
God, I don't even know if he's reading this.
Monday, May 02, 2005
"Do not go gentle into that good night.
Old age should burn and rave at close of day.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light."
In loving memory of our late former president Dr. Wee Kim Wee.
If there's one thing I truly abhor about Singapore right now is the friggin' weather. The soaring temperatures make it feel like we're trapped in this big over or something. So much so that we were too lazy to walk to the interchange for lunch and its like what? 10 minutes away?
Everyone's been perspiring by the bucket loads and as I've been sitting and pondering, I really do wish I were back in Middle Earth.
Had it not been for my responsibilities and dad's working schedule, I wouldn't be surprised if we had stayed on even longer.
I did not perspire for a week!
I climbed hills without much complain or wiping of the brow to be done...
Rather, I had to "hide" from the cold air.
I truly miss New Zealand (and no, I'm not trying to make any of you jealous)
I felt truly pathetic when I mistook the sand quarry nearby Bedok Reservoir for a mountain. It's true. Dad was driving when I exclaimed, "Look! Mountain!"
I felt like burying myself in that sand quarry; head and all.
And no, I'll save you the Lord of the Rings experience for another time.
I just needed to lament about the weather. Bahhhh!
OK OK...maybe ONE Lord of the Rings picture.
The Gladden Fields
The Gladden Fields was the place where Prince Isildur fell to the Orcs and the ring was then lost from the Fellowship of the Ring.
Anyhow, I just wanted to highlight the beautiful path that I walked through while I was at Wilcox Green situated in Arrowtown.
Wilcox Green's kinda like a park. Doubt I'd be able to walk through something like this in Singapore except for the mangrove swamps perhaps.
Here's a picture of me outside the motel in Wanaka. My bed was facing that exact mountain in the picture. Imagine waking up to that everyday!
Bukit Timah Hill anyone?
Okay, now this one's way cool. I couldn't think of anything in Singapore that could draw comparisons to this.
While we were driving down a mountain, we managed to take a picture of this beautiful gorge down below.
And how proud Zul was when I used the word "Gorge". Truly, if you do not have an inclination for geography, the word would sound very alien.
Had it not been a road, I would probably grab a deck chair, prop myself at that height and just write.
Sunset on Lake Wanake
I managed to catch a series of sunsets when I was in NZ. Something I would love to do in Singapore but the hectic schedule that I have disallows me. To catch such a breathtaking sight before my eyes was truly awe inspiring.
A week in New Zealand, took my breath away.
And true enough, a week wasn't enough. I should return soon to Aotearoa.
But, before I return, I really should stop complaining about the weather in Singapore (although it's no secret that I would seriously prefer living in the UK and now, NZ).
But, I guess, one must truly embrace and love one's country first aye?
My Singapore, My Home anyone?
"A man's country is not a certain area of land, of mountains, rivers, and woods, but it is a principle and patriotism is loyalty to that principle."
(George William Curtis)
Sunday, May 01, 2005
Movie Previews: The Jacket
All set for a 12th May release is The Jacket starring Academy Award Winner Adrian Brody and Keira Knightley.
1991: Jack Starks, a U.S. Marine Sergeant serving in the Persian Gulf War, receives a near-fatal gunshot wound to the head. Although he recovers, the incident leaves him with shock-related amnesia. After his release, with nowhere to go, Starks, who has no relatives, returns to his native Vermont.
Nine months later, hitchhiking along a snowbound Vermont highway, Starks encounters a broken down pick-up truck. The driver, a drunken, disoriented mother named Jean, and her eight-year-old daughter, Jackie, are stranded at the roadside. With Jean too drunk to speak with him, Starks approaches Jackie and offers his help and gets the truck started.
Starks continues hitchhiking, and is picked up by a station wagon driven by a young man headed for the Canadian border. Shortly afterward, the car is pulled over by the police and Starks blacks out. When he awakens, he finds himself on trial for murder in a small town court.
Found not guilty by reason of insanity, Starks is committed to Alpine Grove, a state institution for the criminally insane. There a staff physician, Dr. Becker subjects Starks to a jarring experimental treatment involving mind-altering drugs and claustrophobic physical restraint. Once medicated, Starks is wrapped in jacket-like restraints and left alone for hours at a time in a corpse drawer located in the hospital’s basement morgue.
And in the drawer, in the dark and under the influence, Starks initially experiences flickers of memory from the war and the shooting of the police officer. Under this regimen, he begins putting together bits of his past and tries to make sense of his circumstances.
The past gives way to the future when he is suddenly transported to a diner in Vermont where he meets Jackie, a waitress who takes pity on him and tries to help him find a place to sleep for the night. It is Christmas Eve, and all of the local homeless shelters are full, so Jackie allows Starks to sleep on her couch. In these hours, Starks begins to realize that the drawer he’s been confined to is the secret to his recovery and that his future and well-being lie in the hands of the girl he’s just met.
(Courtesy of Moviexclusive.com for synopsis)